I have written much about things I really like, but any critical blog needs something to slag off. So I thought to myself what do I despise enough to write a long winded rant and publish to the world wide web, then it came to me - Twilight. The books, the film, the whole franchise. I have read the books because someone told me "I'm sure you'll enjoy it, you loved Buffy the vampire slayer back in the day. So I sat down one weekend and read all four books without stopping, trying to convince myself that a plot line was going to come along or eventually the writer would remember literacy requires some form of literate grammar. But alas, when I closed the books I was thoroughly disappointed and realised I'd wasted an entire evening on what I can only describe as bollocks.
There are many dark reasons I hate the book, I've seen one film as I was dragged along and I used the time wisely to catch up on beauty sleep. I ask myself time and time again why the book is so popular when the literature is so crap and the storyline so weak? The answer is Bella is so pathetic and has no personality that any teenage looser can put themselves in her shoes. Hopefully these girls are so indoctrinated by Meyer that they spend their whole lives waiting for a man like Edward that they never procreate themselves.
My main issue with twilight is the explicit sexualisation of violence, it gives the message to young girls that it's okay to love a man who could easily hurt you, in fact it's sexy. Bella finds it highly arousing that Edward has to fight off all desire to drain her of blood and murder her senseless. Edward is an emotionally unstable, manipulative and aggressive, constantly he is warning Bella what he could murder her at any second and that when he first met her he wanted to kill her. Apparently fans were desperate to see Edward’s “headboard-busting” sex and his wife Bella’s black and blue bruised body, because this my fellow readers is "the perfect honeymoon". He may be presented as the ideal gentleman, who is chivalrous, thoughtful honorable and protective, however, anyone who has studied the symptoms of abuse will know that these "justifications" are exactly the sort of thing victims will tell themselves and others, just read this extract for yourself and consider it in context of what we've just discussed: "There was a faint shadow across one of my cheekbones, and my lips were a little swollen…The rest of me was decorated with patches of blue and purple. I concentrated on the bruises that would be the hardest to hide—my arms and my shoulders. … Of course, these were just developing. I’d look even worse tomorrow. "Sounds just like a monologue or soliloquy you'd hear from a battered wife. The film is intensely erotic whilst highly dangerous, this is very worrying when you consider that one in three women will be abused in their life. A 2005 survey showed that 37% of teenage girls believe it's okay for their boyfriend to abuse them if they believe they've been cheating on them. Is this really the message we want to send out to our young girls? That it's acceptable for a man to be aggressive, how is this even attractive? Having myself been in a manipulative relationship once I find advocating this behaviour unacceptable. Is Stephanie Meyer oblivious to this evil monster she has created, or is she sick and twisted enough to want to ruin everything Pizzey and the rest of the 1970's feminist movement stood for? Perhaps Meyer should read Scream quietly or the neighbours will hear you before she writes any more novels romanticising domestic violence.
Another vile reason I cannot stand this vile piece of awful literature is it's clearly mormon proganda. Meyer belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and whilst I can appreciate the advocation of chastity and criticising our "abortion on demand" state, what really concerns me if that Meyer clearly believes abortions are unnaceptable full stop, even if the fetus is killing you in a horrific manner. Edward even drops his traditional beliefs and begs Bella to have an abortion, but no, she would rather die than kill the evil half vampire monster inside of her. Whilst she's in labour her spine physically cracks in half and even then she refuses and abortion. Then Bella dies all so this creature could be brought safely into the earth. Luckily Bella is surrounded by vampires who bring her back from the brink of death and then they all realise how wrong they were to ask her to abort the thing, she only died you know guys. It's a clear anti-abortion message seductively packaged as a true-love fairy tale. I'm not a fan of the way many young slappers treat abortion as a contraception and I genuinely believe people should be in a loving and stable relationship if they are going to embark on naughty relations but the extreme view that a mother should die for her baby is not what we should be advocating, many pro life supporters even agree that this is the only time when an abortion is acceptable. Everything feminist bitches worked for over the last century has literally been destroyed by Meyer, lets chain her to the kitchen sink and get her husband to beat her - with a stick no wider than his finger of course. It's a good job Meyer deviated far from the original standards and rules for vampires, in Buffy I clearly remember the only way someone could become a vampire was if they sucked a vampires blood in return. This implies a blood transfusion, and we all know where this would lead.
So these are my major huffs with Twilight. Men wearing eyeliner and glittering doesn't even bother me that much, if all the girls want to fancy those skinny douches then it saves the rugby players for us real, sane women! There's about as much emotional depth in the movies as a teaspoon, a teaspoon that has been flattened. And nothing actually happens, there's a lot of whining, fretting about a potential threat, gazing at Edwards dead sparkly face, pining after Edwards dead sparkly face, cheating with a hairy brute of a man who actually loves you but you'd rather pine after the dead, violent man. Meyer has also managed to destroy all precedent and universal definitions of a vampire within a minute paragraph: "...how can you come out during the daytime?" He laughed anyway. "Myth." "Burned by the sun?" "Myth." "Sleeping in coffins?" "Myth." ... "I can't sleep." So effectively she's created a completely different type of supernatural creature, but taken one of the most popular myths of modern culture and forever more tainted the reputation of all other vampire novels and films.
I do wish that Edward caved into his vampire instincts and just killed Bella when he first met her. Tht would have been a much better story and we wouldn't have a world infested with twihards.
