Dr Who Overdose: Lets kill Hitler.

The long awaited and much anticipated return of Doctor Who. I changed into my sweat pants, gorged down pizza and garlic bread and settled myself down for what I was expecting to be a fantastic night of Matt Smith oggling. The elusive title of "Let's Kill Hitler" had already caused much controversy but there was one thing distinctly lacking from tonight's show, Hitler.

Yes he was in it, for a few minutes, then they promptly locked him in a cupboard and forgot about him. Obviously I'm not a Hitler fan, but don't name the title in such a way to imply the story will revolve around him and not deliver, this was a clever ploy by Moffat,  we all spent the entire summer courting a minor controversy over casting the Fuhrer in a family show, this was fueled by the teaser implying that the Tardis crew save his life. I was intrigued as to how they'd created a storyline about such a contentious character, I was hoping the doctor had some part in his downfall, perhaps he'd provoked his conscience or used his knowledge of history to trick Hitler into halting the blitz and turn his attention to Russia. Or perhaps it'd turn out Hitler was a vile alien? Alas, there was little point in me pondering this throughout summer, for Hitler barely spoke two sentences and it became quite clear that the writers and producers simply used Berlin as a background, the actual story line could have been done anywhere really. 

One of the highlights was Rory, he finally came into his own as a character, he made some great one liners and punched Hitler, this was a refreshing change from the useless entity that aimlessly ambles around the tardis, occasionally dying and resurrecting. And we had some fine acting from Karen too. Matt Smith, despite the fact he spent most of the episode writhing on the floor, did manage to squeeze in two fantastic costume changes. It seems he has a new longer (still tweed) coat. It was rather dashing but I was slightly disappointed. I've spent all year convincing my boyfriend to buy a tweed jacket like the Doctors, and just as he buys a swell vintage one, the doctor dons a longer coat instead. I was more impressed with the dapper suit he changed into. I hope he keeps that one up. 

But on the down side, River Song/Melody Pond featured heavily. Firstly we saw her at 2nd regeneration, as Mel, Amy's best friend. Then she regenerates into the Riversong we all know. She and the Doctor indulge in some mind games, ending with River pointing a banana at his head. And she's even more of a slut. I don't understand why people went crazy about Hitler potentially featuring in a family show and yet no one ever complains at her promiscuous behaviour. Right in front of her parents she was girating the doctor, spreading her thighs and basically acting like a low class hooker. They should ground her there and then. It’s clear straight away that Melody Pond has been part of Rory and Amy’s life for far longer than either has realised. Specifically, in the form of Mels. Mel is the one who made Amy realise Rory wasn't in fact gay, but actually in love with her. The ultimate time paradox was created- not only did "Melody get her parents together- which sub-sequentially led to her own birth. But also Amy named her daughter after... well her daughter. It's all timey whimey confusing stuff. 

Many questions were answered, yes, River Song can regenerate, but she also gave the rest of her cycles away to save the Doctor and we learn where River Song got the diary. I think it's safe to conclude now that River is in prison for killing the doctor, and it's likely she is the one who killed him back in Utah. However, new questions were raised. It turns out the silence aren't a race, they are a religious order- so what were those creepy things in the impossible astronaut? There's the slight confusion that River Song is perceived to be a greater criminal than Hitler. And what is the Academy Of The Question? Also, how were the Doctor's regeneration's disabled? this implies something mechanical and is altogether quite confusing. And now the Doctor knows when he will really die, so it'll be interesting to see how his attitude will change now he believes to be living on borrowed time. (although I refuse to believe this is the end of Doctor Who)

Mark Gatiss has written the next episode- Night terror. And it looks unbelievably terrifying. But then again so did the trailer for the "rebel flesh" and that turned out to be a let down in the terror stakes. However, surely there is nothing more terrifying in the universe than a child's bedroom? Regardless, I'm so glad Dr Who is back in my life. I'm terribly sad but I enjoy my saturday nights with a takeaway, wine and Matt Smith. What more could a girl want? 

Dr Who Overdoes: A Good Man Goes To War.

Most people I know have been seriously disappointed by this episode, however, I feel people are forgetting it wasn't a complete final, this was the mid series finale, there is obviously going to be unanswered questions to make you wait on the edge of your seat until Dr Who returns to our screens. I found this episode to be a compelling watch, it was a dark, psychological exploration of the Doctor, which delved further than Davies had ever dared to go. Although Davies lightly touched on the Doctor being perceived a a "fears warrior" the surface was never really scratched. Moffat has been waiting 16 years to give the word "Doctor" a new angle, it was a morally contentious and reflective episode.

 

 The highlights of the episode include the hilarious moment when the Doctor was being interrogated as to where little Melody was conceived. "I know how you blush"  his painful embarrassment and cluelessness was pant wetting material. And the moment when it turned out the Melody Amy has been protecting and hugging was actually a ganger and she suddenly dissolved into gooey flash- this produced the finest acting from Karen we have yet to see, I actually felt pangs of sadness for her, or perhaps I'm being all broody and maternal myself... don't tell the boyfriend. But the way she cried over a litre of yogurt really did pull the strings of my cold heart.

The big moment came, we finally found out who bloody River Song is. And it turns out that she is Melody Pond. This had been suggested to me but I'd tried to ignore this horrible accusation and as the terrible truth dawned on me I found all my broodiness for the baby dissolve almost as quickly as the ganger did and now all I feel is resentment for that baby. She will become the worlds most annoying plank ever.

Now although I wholeheartedly loved this episode, It was highly flawed and left many loose ends and unanswered questions, if this was a two part episode I could cope with it, but I have to keep telling myself that these questions will be answered when the show returns, but I have a small niggling feeling that some of them wont be. Many of the characters were completely pointless. We had a lesbian lizard that killed Jack the Ripper and an emasculated Sontaran nurse. For some reason Rory was dressed as a centurion and seriously, what was the point of the Thin Fat Gay Married Anglican Marines if you're just going to behead one of them and subsequently forget about them? Such conundrums meant little empathy or emotion was developed over the Doctors army, when they died I really felt nothing because I was that confused as to their purpose. Moffat has single handed abused all the established rules of time, dimensions, paradox and time lines within this episode alone. Furthermore, it's either a case of bad scripting or lack of communication between Davies and Moffat but if River Song is a time lord and can regenerate, why did she die when we first met her? Is it possible we will get to see a younger, different actress play River Song? Preferably one with less tendencies to look smug 24/7. Thankfully the ridiculous quotes such as "spoilers" or "hello sweetie" are becoming few and far in between. Is Amy effectively the Doctor's mother-in-law? There fore Dr Who has gone all Dorian Gray on us and smooched both mother and daughter. This also means that, presumably, Amy tried to shoot her child at the end of The Impossible Astronaut. It's all a bit chaotic.

Can we assume that River Song was the astronaut which killed the Doctor? RiverSong did once say she killed the greatest man she ever knew and she's obviously got a fetish for dressing up in space suits. However, since most girls think of their father as the greatest man they ever knew, could Rory be about to get it all over again? This is a most unconventional family, I couldn't feel happy for any of them, and it's not just my incessant hatred for River Song. It just felt wrong what with her being so much older than her respective parents. You couldn't feel any emotion during this poignant moment. I mean what must be running through Amy's head? something along the lines of  "my daughter is a total slut". 

 I cannot wait for Dr Who to return, "Let's Kill Hitler" sounds promising already. I can only hope that River Song gets less annoying the younger she's technically getting as it seems she's going to be around a long long time. Something has got to be done about Rory as he's just being a wet fish, unwanted third wheel that the writers cannot find anything useful to do with him but have no good reason to kill him off. He needs more direction and purpose.

Dr Who Overdose: The Rebel Flesh

I haven't posted for a week, there is good reason behind this, it's exam period and I'm too busy stuffing my brain full of covenants, easements, conveyancing etc to have the time to blog about anything remotely interesting. Well I did get a little too drunk with my study buddy, we thought wine would help the covenants go down better but we ended up dancing around her room and harassing people on the seafront. But besides from that I cannot remember enough of the night to talk about it. 

Amy Pond, looking peng.

 What I will say is this, I enjoyed this episode much more than last weeks. The episode opens with Super massive Black Hole by Muse, and suddenly you find yourself in an intergalactic Coronation Street, domestic bliss, Amy and Rory playing darts whilst the Doctor continues to surreptitiously scan Amy's uterus. And then we are transported to a Bruce Willis movie, asides from that, anyone who has seen the trailer has seen enough to know the fundamental storyline. The most disappointing part of the episode was that the "cliffhanger" was something we were already expecting, from last weeks teasers it showed the ganger Doctor and therefore I was left feeling slightly deflated. I can only assume the writers lost heart when they realised this would be aired on the day of rapture and therefore no one would ever see it. But it's like when you're on the edge of your seat wondering who is the baddie, then you hear the formidable "exterminate" and you just feel let down.

It was a quintessential and almost "textbook" Dr Who episode. Set in claustrophobic isolation, a small cast  enemies within, a dangerous environment, science turned against humanity and the ultimate question: who is the real monster? I cannot lie, my favourite part was the Doctors mickey take out of Northerners. As a patriotic Southerner it rather tickled my possum. Also Amy Pond looked exceptionally pretty, she's got the "glowing pregnancy thing" going on.

The biggest shocker was the revelation that Rory is a man whore. His new found lust for some fleshy floozy means the writers may have found a way to write Rory out the script (thus allowing the Doctor to get Amy up the duffer) without having to kill him off- again.  It would be nice for Rory to find someone who appreciates him finally, and to not have him die for the millionth time, like I said last week, each time he dies so does my empathy. And that was the other major plot twist, Rory did not die, what a refreshing change. Once again I am elated at the no show of River Song. I despise that woman. 

All in all, it was a good episode, it felt like a proper Dr Who again, which is odd when you consider the fact there were no aliens in this episode. Although the writers need to leave some mystery in the trailers, if it were not for the fact so much was shown last week, I think this would have been considered a very memorable episode. They really need to be more careful with the spoilers, and perhaps write out anyone who overuses the phrase "spoilers"? please?

The trailer for next weeks episode "the almost people" does leave alot more to the imagination. I'm excited to see how the mindless (yet occasionally faceless young ganger) will sexually assault Rory and more importantly it will be interesting to see the ganger Doctor. The last time we had a time lord double (oh David Tennant) it induced many illicit sex dreams, not just for Captain Jack, but for the entire female population, not excluding myself. So having two Matt Smith's on screen at the same time will probably have a similar effect. I do not believe these theories that the ganger doctor is the one that died, for a start this episode was written by a guest writer, and such a significant development in the overall plot line cannot be written by a guest. I still maintain the little girl is vital to that plot, and the crazy pirate lady (which for some reason Amy keeps neglecting to tell the Doctor about..)

I guess it's time to get back to the law of co ownership. Oh the joys.

Dr Who Overdose: The Doctors Wife.

This was a story about the Tardis, set largely inside the Tardis, with the Tardis as the female lead. You may need to sit down and rest a while to get your head around this. To add to your fragile cognitive state, I should warn you that the Doctor appears to suffer from a disorder known as Objectum Sexual- no I didn't make this term up. It's a genuine condition for people who have sexual desire for inanimate objects. Yes, the doctor wants to poon his tardis.

I cannot lie. I am very disappointed by this episode. It was very rushed, the storyline was very unpolished and far too ridiculous (yes even for Doctor who). It overcomplicated what was basically a simple love story between a man and his car. I personally felt very uncomfortable watching the human personification of the tardis flirt with the doctor. I don't know if this is because I want the Doctor for myself, but I feel there's more to my repulse than that. This storyline should have been dealt with much more gently and the relationship should have been much more platonic. Less sexual tension, more admiration. 

Surranne Jones, I prejudged harshly. I will admit I was not expecting great things about her. But she was actually quite brilliant. She had a Helena Bonham Carter playing Mrs Lovett quality about her which I found endearing. A particular favourite quote was:

"Biting's excellent. It's like kissing only there's a winner." 

 Which she delivered fantastically. And the poigniant moment when you remember it isn't just the time lords who have died out, it's also the tardis'. She managed to bring some depth to an otherwise badly drafted character. I did find myself entertained by the Amy& Rory vs Michael Sheen's voice- fatal cat and mouse game. The "Kill Amy" graffiti scene made me wonder what role Rory is playing in Amy's inevitable knock up. Will he simply get fed up of waiting for Mrs Pond? Will he walk? Will he die- for real? Just how long can a robot last anyway?

I'm very excited for next weeks episode. It looks positively terrifying and like we will finally get some answers, obviously I'm not foolish enough to expect them all in one episode. I have a good theory however. I was reliably informed that many years ago, pre Matt, Pre David, and Pre Chris even- yes i'm talking back in those days. One of the doctors died, properly, and another timelord did timelord magic to resurrect him. So what with the crazy regenerating child loose, and the doctors impending death... you know where i'm heading. Although I'm still dubious about Pond and the Doctor pooning. The sexual tension lessens every episode. And when the Rory asked "This time, can we lose the bunk beds?" it only serves to highlight the Dr's lack of sexual knowledge.

All I can conclude from this episode, is that Neil Gaimanis very a very overrated writer. I had high hopes for this episode and I was sorely let down. It had so much potential but ultimately failed to deliver. I can only hope next weeks lives up to the expectations I already have for it.

Dr Who Overdose: Curse of the Black Spot.

At the end of last week's Day Of The Moon, a young girl suddenly started regenerating. Like most of the Dr Who fan base I was left in shock and shouting at my television. Desperate for the week to roll on so I could find out what happened next, who is this girl? is Amy Pond the slut we all suspected her to be? What will Rory do if his wife and the Dr poon? All these questions were still spinning in my head as I settled down with a friend to watch Curse of the Black Spot. Then it suddenly dawned on me, the chances of said questions being answered any time soon was very unlikely. Writers these days seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to leave us on a gigantic cliffhanger then fill the following episodes with less interesting and irrelevant material. I hoped Dr Who wasn't going to do a "filler" episode, the cliffhanger was far too juicy, but alas, they did. 

Not that the episode was terrible. It's just some of us cannot cope having to wait a week to find out what happens next, then finding out we have to wait longer if simply what tips us off the edge. By the time we actually find out who this elusive child is I will most likely have bitten all my fingers off til they are tiny stubs and pulled all my hair out with frustration. 

I had a dawning feeling that the Curse of the black spot would be extraordinarily similar to a popular film known as "curse of the black pearl". Just with some spacey gadgets added in. I was half right, there was some very obvious copying, however this was probably intended as most of Dr Who's younger audience are probably fans of POTC as well, and there's nothing wrong with pleasing your audience. 

Lily Cole's CGI transformation from green sparkly temptress to crazy, hissing red devil was lame and I'm not sure if it was the casting of the useless entity that is Lily Cole which angered me or just her blatant inability to act but either way, a lesser known, cheaper but more talented actress would have been the better option.  Hugh Bonneville brought enough star attraction, another was not needed. 

Hugh Bonneville's performance on the other hand was wonderful, I found myself increasingly being attracted to him, he really worked that beard. But unfortunately for him, his character was underdeveloped and the father/son plot line was all too obvious. 

The worst plot line by far was Rory's near death. This has happened far too many times and by now I find myself bored by it. Don't get me wrong, I think Rory is a great character, but there's only so many times I can watch him die. When he inevitably dies for real (leaving Amy free to poon the Doctor and thus create mini Doctor-ette) I will be bored of the whole fiasco and have no care that a beloved character has died. The writers need to stop reusing said storyline. There is only so many times a man can die, other than the doctor of course. 

To summarise. This episode was well below par, compared to the last two episodes we joyfully watched. The best part of it was that the despicable River Song wasn't in it. I'm still unconvinced the Doctor really dies. I've had many theories swimming around in my head. Perhaps this elusive regeneration girl will use her regeneration powers to resuscitate the doctor? That's what I'm hoping, because to make Matt Smith the final doctor will be the most ridiculous plot line this show has ever had.